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A humble preface...

What you may be about to read is not much more than a meditative and emotional text from the soul, mind, and body of a young artist. It's purpose is to share moments of enlightenment or deep struggle, questions, or simple reflections on art, recovery from codependence and God. Nothing here is authoritative or even scholarly... but it may be, I hope, thought provoking and helpful to some. Whatever IS not helpful is yours to disregard, as I do often when I encounter concepts that confuse or wound or do not ring true to my experience in this world. I welcome the trade of knowledge and the craft of intelligent discourse -- the cultivation of creativity and the constructive critiques that bring health and growth to ideas and efforts. Welcome.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Sundays.

For 2009, my hope is to move in a new direction. My goal is to stay on topic and post something weekly. What's a blog without readers? What's a blogger without a bit of discipline and commitment? So there it is. I am going to attempt to add something every Sunday. This seems reasonable. Sunday is more or less my day of rest, a day of reflection. Generally the only day where I avoid making commitments to anything other than rest.

My hope is that it will also be a day devoted to worship and learning as well. I have been searching for a church for a long time now, always with the feeling that I am missing something vital. Services are either a little silly, a little watered down, a little off, something. Not everything in life needs to be a challenge, but I think that Church needs to be that in a way for me, and if not a direct challenge, at least something that sharpens me spiritually. It also needs to be a safe place. Someplace where I can go to confess, someplace where I can go to worship, where I can go to learn about the Lord and to be myself.

The social pressures in some of the protestant churches are insane. I always end up feeling like your outside image is more important than what's going on inside. Some services, teachings, or behaviors even contradict scriptures or the little church tradition that I have some understanding of. As an artist, I find myself noticing all sorts of patterns. For instance, a lot of the more contemporary community or non-denominational churches prefer worship songs with really simple songs of praise, visiting Starbucks before and after church, and wearing Tiva/Keene sandal shoes all the time. There's really distinct vocab, and the trend to be "cool." There is a lot of mimicking of popular culture. A lot of pastors turned popular authors, a lot of fun group style ministries.

I can't say that I really understand it all. I can't say that it makes sense to me spiritually, religiously, or theologically. The bottom line is that I am little more than a student or a follower at best, and I am just NOT feeling the leadership of some of the protestant "brands" of Christianity. I don't even know why fully.

So I've been doing a lot of research lately on Orthodoxy. Today alone I wrote three different Orthodox priests. I am not really sure what they are called yet. "Fr." is abbreviated before their name, and in my reading I've found so many new terms and titles that it is overwhelming. In terms of history, tradition, and theology though, what I have read is very compelling. I am hoping that I gain some confidence to visit a local Church after my letters and questions are answered. I will certainly share my impressions with you as I learn more about this Orthodoxy, and my self in the process. I will also attempt to include more pictures of things in the future, and more on my art. Cheers!

2 comments:

Colleen said...

How's your research going? You posted this a while ago. Did you find out if Orthodox churches are closer to what you are looking for? I agree with your analysis of protestant churches. Recently my family has moved to a more "unchurched" approach to church, if that makes any sense. Reality is what is most important is our relationship with God.

Leslie Peterson said...

I still need to do more visiting, but there are elements about the Orthodox church I really like, and elements of the protestant church I really like. I am in some ways following the "unchurched" philosophy too, but sometimes fellowship and sermons give me or teach me things I cannot give myself. So I am still on a journey! I think I will be for a long while. Thanks!