A full month

Discipline slips away from me, or I away from it... Meditative mornings are no more. Bedtimes fluctuate, the Bible opens less frequently than closet doors. Though I did open to the Psalms not long ago. What must it take to seriously convince me that these things are more than a multivitamin for my soul? Seriously. How many times to I have to struggle with loneliness or helplessness or confusion or abuse or God knows what else before I can commit to a functioning relationship with God?

"Progress, not perfection." I remind myself. At least today I am acutely aware of what I need, and in more than a few small ways have been making more progress than I tend to recognize. I am reading for pleasure, despite the commitments of work and school. I am listening to public, conservative, and christian radio... which for some reason is soothing despite the controversy. I am going to meetings and loving the transformation I see in other people, making great friends... loving the question of "what it means to be human" (probably the one oddball thing out of all my time at North Park that still follows me every day). I am happy not to be one of those people that falls and gets stuck in tar -- it's been a series of skinned knees for me, some worse than others. Lately, more like bumps and bruises.